Stuck on What to Write in a Gift Card? Let Us Help!

"Roses are red, your name isn't Fred, I got you a Birthday Card, now I'm going the fuck back to Bed!" Need a little help in the greeting card writing department? Stumped for ideas? Mind as blank as a dad at a Taylor Swift concert? Let The Inappropriate Gift Co help you with this inspiring and heartfelt collection of greeting card messages...
 
BIRTHDAY GREETING CARD IDEAS

1. Age is just a number. Unfortunately, yours is starting to look like a Wi-Fi password
2. Hope your birthday is as fabulous and full of snacks as you are!
3. Happy Birthday! You still look great, especially from a distance and in soft light

50th BIRTHDAY CARD GREETINGS

1. 50?! Don’t worry, you still look fabulous...from the right angle, in soft lighting, after wine.
2. Congratulations! 50 and Fucking Fabulous!
3. Congratulations on reaching half a century! At this age, your back and your knees will go out more than you do! 
   
   

60th BIRTHDAY CARD GREETINGS

1. If ever there was something to celebrate, it is the start of your 60s!... and the end of the menopause era! Thank Fuck!
2. Time to start cruising through life! Don't forget to add the drinks package!
3. Happy 60th! May your prescription list be short and your side effects mild or a lot of fun.
   
   
   

WHAT TO WRITE IN A SYMPATHY CARD

1. I know there’s nothing anyone can say to make this better, but I can bring snacks and wine and sit with you in silence if it helps
2. I am so sorry for your loss. Life can be such an arsehole!

DIVORCE CARD GREETINGS

1. It is Better to have Loved and Lost than be stuck with a Cunt forever!
2. Congratulations on losing 100kg!
3. Congrats on your Divorce. We hated him. 

OFFICE FAREWELL CARD GREETINGS
  1. Good luck finding better work colleagues than us! 
  2. Strategy meetings will never be the same with no one to derail them while binging Mentos
  3. May your new job have fewer meetings that could have been emails, better snacks, and at least one competent coworker

ARRIVAL OF A BABY CARD GREETINGS

  1. Congratulations on the much-anticipated arrival of your baby! Don't worry, the feelings of exhaustion, anxiety, and judgment will start to ease when the baby starts Year 4....Before kicking off again when the baby goes to high school. All the best!
  2. Welcome to parenthood! Where the coffees are ice cold, sleep goes to die, and laundry multiplies like rabbits on Red Bull!
  3. We are so excited to hear of the arrival of your little bundle of joy! Remember to sleep when the baby sleeps, clean when the baby cleans, and do laundry when the baby does laundry! And don't worry, the first 18 years are the hardest!

At the Inappropriate Gift Co, we love any opportunity to celebrate, and life milestones are our favourite! If you’ve got a greeting card idea or need help finding the perfect words for a special moment, drop it in the comments!

....and don't forget the fun gift...