This is our new Michelle Mug. Every Michelle we know is a f#cking Legend.
Lots and lots of suggestions came in for Michelle - thank you!
As a result of your feedback - we are going back to sending this at 11.30am (just before your lunch break so you could share the inappropriateness with your work mates). I check our open rates each week and do a happy dance when I know you've opened this email :)
Thanks for sending in all your jokes, here are our favourites:
*A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a s#x shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: “Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?”
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: “Yes we do have di#dos. Actually we carry many different models.”
The old woman then asks: “Dddddoooo yyyouuuu ccaarrryy aaa pppinkk onnee, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt tttwoo inchesss ththiickk?”
The clerk responds, “Yes we do.”
“Ddddooo yyoooouuuu kknnnoooww hhhowww tttooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ddddaaammmmnnn ttthingggg offffff?”
*Man gets home from work and tells his wife "get me a beer before it starts" he drinks it then says "quick get me another before it starts" again she gets it and he drinks it and again he says "another before it starts" She says "listen here you lazy fat c#nt, you walk in, sit down and start barking orders.... he says "f#ck me its started"
Please email any jokes you find funny to firstname.lastname@example.org
We are glad you are on board to help us design our name mugs.
We had some hilarious responses to our Michelle mug on socials, thanks to all of you who contributed.
This weeks mug is JESS, we will post this mug on socials and please comment on what you think the saying should be...
If you are not on socials (who the f is not on socials?) Maybe you are trying to maintain a professional image on socials and do not want to comment on our fabulous pages... you can send us an email with your comment and if we think it is funny enough we will post on socials on your behalf.
The mug will be featured on Wednesday night and the most popular answer will then be printed on our mug.
Everyone knows a Jess, she is usually.....?
We love Ozzy Man check out his series of Destination F#cked Videos (as usual volume warning if you are at work - lots of profanity..lol)
"Everything is F#cked" book by Mark Manson
Well, buckle up bitches, Uncle Mark is taking you for another ride. Just like"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck questioned our conventional wisdom on what makes us happy, Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope questions our assumptions on what makes life worth living.