Oh No My Last Fuck! What to do if your candle won't stay Lit!
2 min read
Burn baby burn!! If your candle won't stay lit like the office admin girl at the annual Christmas do, read on! There is a fine art to burning a candle properly for both safety and optimal performance. Here are some steps to ensure you get the most out of your last fuck:
1. Choose the Right Location: We don't care what room you choose, just ensure your candle is burning on a stable, heat-resistant surface away from flammable materials, drafts, and curious pets or children.
2. Trim that Wick: Jack be nibble, Jack be quick and for fuck's sake trim your candle wick! If you're wick is longer than a 1/4 inch (6 mm) in length it can cause excessive smoke, uneven burning, and the formation of soot. So best practice is to trim!
3. Let the Wax Pool: If you don't have the time to let you candle burn long enough to create a full and even pool of melted wax across the entire surface, then don't burn it at all or you risk your candle tunneling, where a hole forms in the center, aka it will be fucked! Once you have completed the first burn, and allowed the entire top of the candle to melt this sets a memory for the wax and ensures an even burn during the subsequent uses.
4. Burn in Intervals: Regardless how relaxed you might be, avoid letting your candle burn for more than 4 hours at a time. After this period, extinguish the flame, let the candle cool, trim the wick if necessary, and then relight it. Needy fuckers aren't they!
5. Use a Candle Snuffer: As fun as it might be to let your kiddies blow out the candle, avoid it! Always use a candle snuffer to extinguish the flame, these also look fancy and distinguished. You can also gently dip the wick into the melted wax and then straighten it up.
6. Keep the Wax Clean: To maintain the quality of the candle, ensure no debris like matchsticks or wick trimmings fall into the wax pool, as they can affect the burning process. Best you also ensure you're burning a wax candle...not plastic!
7. Extinguish if 1/2 inch of Wax is Left: When there is approximately 1/2 inch (1.27 cm) of wax left at the bottom of the container, stop using the candle and come visit us at The Inappropriate Gift Co to buy another one! Burning it further can damage the vessel or cause it to crack, ending with melted wax all over your table and a whole fucking mess!
8. Store Candles Properly: Store candles in a cool, dry place away from direct sunlight, as heat can affect their texture and scent.
9. Keep an Eye on Pets and Children: Never leave a burning candle unattended, especially around pets and young children.
10. Avoid Moving Candles While Lit: If a candle needs to be moved, ensure it is extinguished and the wax has cooled down before handling it.
11. Use Candle Holders: For pillar candles, use an appropriate candle holder or a plate to catch any melted wax.
By not being a lazy fucker and following these guidelines, your last fuck can be enjoyed for the longest time possible and should reduce any chances of you burning down your house!
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