Sue asks her son Paul, “Paul, would you say I’m pretty or ugly?”
“A bit of both, actually,” replies the teenager..
“I’d say you’re pretty ugly.”
Weather girl: “…. and because of the cold front coming in from North-East, we can expect about 3 inches of snow, or, as my colleague Bill would say, 8 inches.”
Peter comes very drunk home late at night and wakes up his wife: “Emily wake up! this house is haunted" "WTF”, she replies sleepily.
“I just went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself and when I left, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. We've got a poltergeist !
Emily replies groans: “FFS Peter! You've just pissed in the fridge again!!!”
My neighbour came at me really aggressively, asking if I knew anything about her underwear disappearing from her clothes line.
I can tell you I nearly shit her pants.
Please keep the jokes coming in to my inbox... it's the highlight of my day. firstname.lastname@example.org
It's been bloody busy which is great for us. The most exciting thing is that this Christmas so many people across the globe will be opening one of our inappropriate gifts.
THAT MAKES US SMILE.
A huge huge thank you for all you support this year. 2019 is already shaping up to be very inappropriate with lots of new suppliers coming on board.
There is still time for Xmas delivery if you are in Australia. Our warehouse is working super hard to turnaround orders within 24- 48 hours - all gifts get sent from Sydney.
Today I went out and about to deliver some of our inappropriate gifts to the legends in the community. I visited celebrities, police stations and the legends above - BONDI RESCUE!!