Hi all, Sophie here. It has been a bit of a shitty couple of weeks here at The Inappropriate Gift Co. Our fearsome leader Lori was given the C word news (and no it wasn't that she is a c#nt, she is used to hearing that!) It was the news that none of us want to hear. "You have cancer". You can read her blog and full story in the link below.
This Newsletter is supposed to bring smiles to you though so let's get that started!
Due to Lori's sense of humour our jokes today will be centred on inappropriate medical ones. She makes no apologies for her Inappropriate sense of humour. We realise Cancer is a very serious subject but for Lori - using humour is helping her and we hope others who may be facing the same ordeal.
Our apologies that we missed the Monday Meme Madness and that this Wednesday's WTF is a bit late! but you know what they say - all good things come to those who wait.
We will try and get back into sync next week for you.
Also don't forget to sign up to our "closed" facebook group called -The Inappropriate Gift Co - VIP MEMBERS which you are all welcome to join. Warning, no snowflakes please..... Thanks for all your inappropriate support. Love Sophie 💕
Man in hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?" Nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, she takes a close look & says, "There is nothing wrong with them sir."
Man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly "thanks for that, it was lovely but what I actually want to know is, are my test results back?"
I went straight to the back of the store to where the Pharmacists’ Counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.
The pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me.
I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?"
Being I'm a senior citizen...I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me. He picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around. Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing.
When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye asked, “Now, does that taste sweet to you?"
The pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, “HELL NO!!!"
So I said, "Oh thank God! That's a real relief! My doctor told me to get a pharmacist to test my urine for sugar!"
We are revamping our collections and we will also be adding some new F#ck Cancer products that we can sell and raise money for Breast Cancer research. As always we would love to hear your suggestions: firstname.lastname@example.org
Buying a gift for a teacher is a lovely gesture- after all, we have a lot to thank them for! But we all know it can be hard to find something personal and useful that 30 other class mums haven’t already thought of!
Here are some tongue-in-cheek gift-giving ‘dont’s’ from The Inappropriate Gift Co.to help guide you through your Christmas gifting.
Enjoy our hilarious guide to making it through the yuletide culinary chaos unscathed. From the Christmas lunch, that magical time of year when your waistband tightens and your inner food enthusiast high-fives your inner glutton, to the family dynamics and deep-seed emotional scars that rear their head! We have you covered with a strategy that involves wit, alcohol, and a pair of stretchy pants.