August 07, 2019 4 min read
A huge shout out to all the Inappropriate Dads out there! There is a private Inappropriate Dads facebook Group - (be warned though it is a male run group for dads ..it's not for the faint hearted (from what I hear there is a fair share of boobs and bums in it too!)
Below are the dads you can hold responsible for the Inappropriate Gift Co - if it wasn't for them - Ben, Lori and Sophie wouldn't be here!
ROB - Sophie's Dad.
Rob is a Legend, he is at every kids sport event cheering them on from the side lines and providing the well earned red frogs at the end. Rob works as a Social worker with indigenous families and is the only one of the three dads who is very comfortable wearing our inappropriate attire!
Neville - Ben's Dad.
Retired Civil Engineer and hater of any curse words. Neville as his name suggests is a very proper fellow. He enjoys spending time on the trampoline with the Grand kids and suggesting non-inappropriate gifts we should sell. Owner of 4 Cavalier Kings Charles Spaniels. (Georgie, Jean-Pierre, Harry and Archie)
Mario - Lori's Dad.
Italian madman, Retired Chef, lives in the UK, uses the word F#CK alot. He spends his time sitting on the sofa with his best friend a 12 year old Cavalier King Charles called Maxy Boy, watching soccer, drinking wine and trying to ignore my Mum's nagging.
Oh yeah - he also makes the WORLD's BEST LASAGNE
Three middle-aged men are golfing one day. All are proud parents, and so they begin to brag about their children.
“My son is doing incredibly well for himself,” the first man says. “He’s a lawyer, and he’s just rolling in the money! In fact, he has so much money that he bought his friend a sports car.”
The second man says, “I can top that. My son is even wealthier! He’s a skilled brain surgeon; he makes a fortune. He has so much money that he bought his friend a huge house.”
“What about you, Frank?” the two men ask their friend.
Frank sheepishly looks at his feet. “Well, my son is, um … well, he’s in gay porn.”
His two friends express their condolences before Frank speaks one more:
“Still, I guess he’s doing well for himself. After all, he has a huge house and drives a brand-new sports car.”
We are making the WORLD a more inappropriate place.
We have just started selling to the USA and Canada via a US partner - to see our initial range of products click here. You will need to click on the I approve mature content to see the gifts!
This is just our launch range.
To all our US and Canadian customers - let us know what else you want to see in our US store. Email us at Info@theinappropriategiftco.com and we will try and make it happen!
A rich, old, divorced man marries a hot, young thing, much to the dismay of his family.They think she’s a gold digger. In reality, she really loves the man, but when they try to consummate the marriage, she’s devastated that he can no longer maintain an erection. (This is pre-Viagra, of course.) However, she stays faithful and grows to love him more each day, despite the lack of sex. The man feels awful.
Some months later, he reads an article in a magazine about a doctor in Argentina who performs a special surgery just for men with his problem. The doctor takes the trunk from a stillborn baby elephant, and implants it on the man in place of his penis. The operation costs nearly $500,000—but the success rate is 100%. After a bit of thought, the man rushes to the doctor and has the procedure done.
It takes a long while, but eventually the family realizes that this girl might just love the old man after all. The matriarch of the family, the man’s ex-wife, throws a Christmas dinner party and invites them both to come. She’s prepared a multi-course meal: turkey, stuffing, potatoes, corn, cranberry sauce—the works. The conversation, laughter, and wine flow.
As they sit with the family and exchange stories, everyone marvels at how vibrant their relationship is. Titillated at the prospect of his ex-wife sitting a few feet away (and also feeling the alcohol coursing through her veins), she begins longing for the feel of the man’s huge, stiff trunk. She begins to rub her man’s leg and feels the trunk begin to rise.
She pulls the tablecloth over his lap and unzips his pants. Surreptitiously, she strokes him slowly—and suddenly, the trunk bursts out from under the tablecloth and reaches up onto the table. It grabs a potato, grips it firmly, and swings back down under the table with a whoosh and a thud.
Needless to say, the conversation stops cold. Shocked family members gaze at where the trunk had just pilfered the potato. Then they all stare at the man, who has a pained and confused look on his face.
“What in God’s name just happened here? What was that?” the man’s ex-wife blurts out. The new wife tries to calm them, asking that nobody panic.
“It’s my new penis,” the man admits slowly. “It’s the trunk of a baby elephant implanted over my member.”
The family is shocked. But one was curious. “Do it again!” blurts out his young nephew. “I want to see it again!”
“I don’t think so.”
“C’mon! Let’s see that thing!” shouts his niece, sitting next to the nephew and all 16 guests. “It was huge!”
“I’m afraid I can’t.”
By this time, everyone wants to see this miracle again. Even the man’s ex-wife. They all start shouting and goading him on. “Do it! Show it!”
Enough!” the man finally shouts. “First, this is extremely embarrassing and I don’t think I could bear it. But more importantly, I really don’t think there’s room in my ass for another potato.”
Bad Lip Reading - The Royal Wedding.