Aries An Aries's to-do list: 1. Conquer the world. 2. Take a quick nap.
Aries - they will headbut you if you waste their time with stupidity Taurus Taurus might be a lover not a fighter, but you still shouldn’t fuck with a bull! Gemini Never mess with a Gemini, you might end up pissing off the wrong twin!
Immature, do not take a Gemini anywhere they have to be fucking serious. Flipping between witty and whimsical faster than you can say dual personality Cancer Cancer's favorite dance move: the two-step between sentimentality and sarcasm Leo Leo: Where the spotlight shines, and the drama thrives!
Virgo Virgos are like human autocorrect, always fixing everyone else's lives Virgos: turning anxiety into Excel spreadsheets since birth Libra A Libra's indecision is so legendary that even their horoscope can't decide what to predict for them. Scorpio Scorpios have two moods: 'I'm fine' and 'I will solve this mystery and avenge it. Scorpios are like fine wine – they get better with age and can be a bit intoxicating Scorpios are the espresso shots of the zodiac – intense and best taken in small doses
Scorpios fuck around and find out.
Sagittarius Don’t piss off a Sagittarius, they’re the only sign in the zodiac holding a weapon. Sagittarius: turning travel dreams into credit card bills since forever Sagittarius: the only sign that believes home is where the passport is Sagittarius: making spontaneity look like a well-thought-out plan
Sagittarius Full off shit, just like the horse they rode in on.
Capricorn Capricorns are the real GOATs of the zodiac –GreatestOfAll Time Capricorns don't procrastinate; they're just collecting strategic data for optimal action Capricorns are the ultimate planners; they even scheduled their midlife crisis Aquarius An Aquarius's exercise routine: lifting heavy opinions and running marathons of innovative ideas
Can't plan their escape from a wet paper bag. Lovely people but they do not have a fucking clue. Pisces Don't mess with a Pisces, they’re not your average Goldfish, they won’t forget! Pisces: Swimming against the current in a river of dreams
Pisces: Anxious, and fucking neurotic because their hearts are too loving and cunts have continued to take advantage.
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