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2 min read
You spend ages perusing online, trying to find that special something to buy for your KK AND then you end up getting a crappy mug with a xmas tree on it and a sachet of hot chocolate or something equally shi*te back in return. I mean I know Christmas is about giving, but FFS
You've just got to grin and bear it. Shouldn't there be some kind of Secret Santa ombudsman for times like this?
And because fate is a cruel mistress, you will inevitably end up picking out the person you know the least/hate the most, and you'll resent having to spend your hard earned cash on them
"Here you go Karen, I got you a peppermint body lotion set (because you fu*cking stink) .
What pointless crap can you get for $15?
It's bad enough having to pretend you like the cookaburra tea towel Aunt Doreen got you when she's sat opposite over Christmas dinner, but when there's about fifteen faces all peering across as you open your Secret Santa gift, and ANY ONE OF THEM could be your Secret Santa? that's anxiety inducing.
And anyone who actually refuses to say who they've got during a sly office kitchen gossip needs to loosen up, tbh.
Trying to buy something that is funny is just too bloody difficult (unless of course you have discovered The Inappropriate Gift Co)
Because if you wrap your present in the same paper as the rest of your gifts and some eagle-eyed snooper called Karen spots it then everyone will know it's from you and all the mysteriousness will be gone and you'll have ruined EVERYTHING.
Who the FUCK is Hannah?
*Frantically searches company intranet*
And who did they have? You. Of course they did. Which means you're landed with nothing except the pitying faces of your colleagues
Comparing the gift you gave to the gift you received will help absolutely nobody. Do try to remember that. They get a bottle of Veuve, you get a grow your own snowman.
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3 min read
3 min read
Gifts we are not allowed to advertise on Facebook
No need to read any further if you get offended easily!
Once upon a time before people got offended by everything, there lived a successful inappropriate gift shop. The gift shop was a safe and fun store where people with an inappropriate sense of humour could find gifts for their friends and loved ones who also had a rude, edgy, sarcastic and quirky sense of humour.
Many of our customers found us through our Facebook page. Then came along the big bad wolf Zuckerburg (misspelt on purpose IYKYK) and his community standards and they threatened to blow the store down. The Inappropriate Gift Co pleaded with them... "Please this is our livelihood, we left corporate jobs with good money to sell this funny shit, please don't ban us and take away our fun and our ability to pay our mortgage"
The Facebook gods looked down upon us with pity and said:
"Alrighty then as long as you only post gifts and memes that meet our standards and we will not be showing your page or your shop to anyone new"
The Gift Co was relieved that it could still exist until it realised that a good 90% of its gifts and memes may not meet community standards...and by not being shown to any new inappropriate peeps it is difficult to grow, especially when we cannot advertise our best sellers.
If you have read this far... THANK YOU. Here are our best sellers that we are not allowed to advertise:
1 min read