You spend ages perusing online, trying to find that special something to buy for your KK AND then you end up getting a crappy mug with a xmas tree on it and a sachet of hot chocolate or something equally shi*te back in return. I mean I know Christmas is about giving, but FFS
2. There is nothing you can do about the injustice of it all
You've just got to grin and bear it. Shouldn't there be some kind of Secret Santa ombudsman for times like this?
3. It's pot luck
And because fate is a cruel mistress, you will inevitably end up picking out the person you know the least/hate the most, and you'll resent having to spend your hard earned cash on them
4. It breeds passive aggression
"Here you go Karen, I got you a peppermint body lotion set (because you fu*cking stink) .
5. The budget is basically pointless
What pointless crap can you get for $15?
6. The 'gift face' struggle is real
It's bad enough having to pretend you like the cookaburra tea towel Aunt Doreen got you when she's sat opposite over Christmas dinner, but when there's about fifteen faces all peering across as you open your Secret Santa gift, and ANY ONE OF THEM could be your Secret Santa? that's anxiety inducing.
7. It literally never stays a secret
And anyone who actually refuses to say who they've got during a sly office kitchen gossip needs to loosen up, tbh.
8. The pressure to be funny is too much
Trying to buy something that is funny is just too bloody difficult (unless of course you have discovered The Inappropriate Gift Co)
9. You have to buy different wrapping paper
Because if you wrap your present in the same paper as the rest of your gifts and some eagle-eyed snooper called Karen spots it then everyone will know it's from you and all the mysteriousness will be gone and you'll have ruined EVERYTHING.
10. The sheer panic of not being able to put a face to the name you've picked out
Who the FUCK is Hannah?
*Frantically searches company intranet*
11. There's always someone who's 'ill' on present exchange day her name is usually Karen,
And who did they have? You. Of course they did. Which means you're landed with nothing except the pitying faces of your colleagues
12. You can't help but compare
Comparing the gift you gave to the gift you received will help absolutely nobody. Do try to remember that. They get a bottle of Veuve, you get a grow your own snowman.
Women are amazing! They deserve endless gifts, cocktails every Friday with a no-strings-attached foot rub, and an annual trip to Paris for pastries, champagne, and shopping. But let’s be real—if we indulged that much, life’s delicate balance would collapse, and the chaotic shitshow would reign! At the Inappropriate Gift Co, we believe there is no greater gift than the gift of laughter, so when shopping for the perfect gift for her, let laughter lead the way.
Let’s face it, guys are tough to shop for. Dads, Husbands, Brothers, Workmates...they either claim they don’t need anything (lies) or suggest some wildly overpriced gadget they’ll use once, then forget about. At the Inappropriate Gift Co, we say go for the laughs.
dads are simple creatures, we don’t wish for fresh underpants and socks with pictures on them, we just want to be woken up with a blow job and to have a day where we strut around the house drinking beer and not having to clean anything
If a gift is on your mind then get us something we can use...like a fleshlight or a chainsaw....or an eagle or a chainsaw wielding eagle with a fleshlight attachment.
Failing that you may want to get us a gift from the Inappropriate Gift Co.
Fathers gifts need to be fun gifts because we out up with your shit all year!
