WTF Wednesday #19

November 14, 2018 2 min read

12 REASONS WHY SECRET SANTA IS SO MUCH FUN (NOT)

1. Sh*it Gifts

You spend ages perusing online, trying to find that special something to buy for your KK AND then you end up getting a crappy mug with a xmas tree on it and a sachet of hot chocolate or something equally shi*te back in return. I mean I know Christmas is about giving, but FFS

2. There is nothing you can do about the injustice of it all

You've just got to grin and bear it. Shouldn't there be some kind of Secret Santa ombudsman for times like this?

3. It's pot luck

And because fate is a cruel mistress, you will inevitably end up picking out the person you know the least/hate the most, and you'll resent having to spend your hard earned cash on them

4. It breeds passive aggression

"Here you go Karen, I got you a peppermint body lotion set (because you fu*cking stink) .

5. The budget is basically pointless

What pointless crap can you get for $15?

6. The 'gift face' struggle is real

It's bad enough having to pretend you like the cookaburra tea towel Aunt Doreen got you when she's sat opposite over Christmas dinner, but when there's about fifteen faces all peering across as you open your Secret Santa gift, and ANY ONE OF THEM could be your Secret Santa? that's anxiety inducing.

7. It literally never stays a secret

And anyone who actually refuses to say who they've got during a sly office kitchen gossip needs to loosen up, tbh.

8. The pressure to be funny is too much

Trying to buy something that is funny is just too bloody difficult (unless of course you have discovered The Inappropriate Gift Co)

9. You have to buy different wrapping paper

Because if you wrap your present in the same paper as the rest of your gifts and some eagle-eyed snooper called Karen spots it then everyone will know it's from you and all the mysteriousness will be gone and you'll have ruined EVERYTHING.

10. The sheer panic of not being able to put a face to the name you've picked out

Who the FUCK is Hannah?

*Frantically searches company intranet*

11. There's always someone who's 'ill' on present exchange day her name is usually Karen,

And who did they have? You. Of course they did. Which means you're landed with nothing except the pitying faces of your colleagues

12. You can't help but compare

Comparing the gift you gave to the gift you received will help absolutely nobody. Do try to remember that. They get a bottle of Veuve, you get a grow your own snowman.