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3 min read
A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas. After all, they've only been dating for three weeks so it seems like the ideal gift - romantic, yet not too personal.
He asks the girlfriend's younger sister to accompany him to buy them then she can point out a pair she'd like. They go to the mall and the sister points out a pair of white gloves which the guy then buys.
The sister then picks up a pair of panties for herself and buys them.
But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels without anyone realising. As a result, the sister gets the gloves and the guy takes home a gift box containing the panties.
Without checking, the guy rushes the gift to his sweetheart, but only after drafting this loving and helpful note to accompany it:
"I chose these because I notice you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove.
These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair she'd been wearing for the last three weeks and they were hardly soiled.
I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.
I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time. There's no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for the coming Christmas Eve.
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
You spend ages perusing online, trying to find that special something to buy for your KK AND then you end up getting a crappy mug with a xmas tree on it and a sachet of hot chocolate or something equally shi*te back in return. I mean I know Christmas is about giving, but FFS
You've just got to grin and bear it. Shouldn't there be some kind of Secret Santa ombudsman for times like this?
And because fate is a cruel mistress, you will inevitably end up picking out the person you know the least/hate the most, and you'll resent having to spend your hard earned cash on them
"Here you go Karen, I got you a peppermint body lotion set (because you fu*cking stink) .
What pointless crap can you get for $15?
It's bad enough having to pretend you like the cookaburra tea towel Aunt Doreen got you when she's sat opposite over Christmas dinner, but when there's about fifteen faces all peering across as you open your Secret Santa gift, and ANY ONE OF THEM could be your Secret Santa? that's anxiety inducing.
And anyone who actually refuses to say who they've got during a sly office kitchen gossip needs to loosen up, tbh.
Trying to buy something that is funny is just too bloody difficult (unless of course you have discovered The Inappropriate Gift Co)
Because if you wrap your present in the same paper as the rest of your gifts and some eagle-eyed snooper called Karen spots it then everyone will know it's from you and all the mysteriousness will be gone and you'll have ruined EVERYTHING.
Who the FUCK is Hannah?
*Frantically searches company intranet*
And who did they have? You. Of course they did. Which means you're landed with nothing except the pitying faces of your colleagues
Comparing the gift you gave to the gift you received will help absolutely nobody. Do try to remember that. They get a bottle of Veuve, you get a grow your own snowman.
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3 min read
Every year, as we approach the festive season, Oprah drops her "Oprah's Favourite Things List", a polished list of "must-haves" to be the best version of yourself. From essentials for the busy host with the most, to boujee wellness gadgets guaranteed to help you shed the kilos. Well, move over Oprah, because it’s time for Lori’s Favourite Things 2025.
4 min read
At The Inappropriate Gift Co, we're all for hyping up gift buying as the holy grail of happiness. We throw around impressive facts like how buying gifts for others releases 80% of your daily dopamine requirements (and how 46% of statistics are completely made up). But let’s get real for a second, gift shopping isn’t always sunshine and serotonin. Read on to discover the 7 reasons people hate gift shopping and what you can do about it.
2 min read
Dads can be notoriously hard to buy for, mostly because they either already have everything or genuinely want nothing except to be left alone. Sure, if money were no object, you could gift him a flame-throwing 10-burner BBQ fit for a caveman king. But if the funds are low and the appreciation is high, go for something that’ll make him laugh and remind him he’s loved and to say thank you for the blocked toilet repairs and 2am nightclub picks even though you're a "functioning" adult.