My neighbour just angrily confronted me on my own doorstep about missing items from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants.
A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along. So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort.
One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel & she said, 'That was incredible!' & He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along.
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started swimming lengths. After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath. He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?''No,' she said, 'I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides of the Mersey !"
Buying a gift for a teacher is a lovely gesture- after all, we have a lot to thank them for! But we all know it can be hard to find something personal and useful that 30 other class mums haven’t already thought of!
Here are some tongue-in-cheek gift-giving ‘dont’s’ from The Inappropriate Gift Co.to help guide you through your Christmas gifting.
Enjoy our hilarious guide to making it through the yuletide culinary chaos unscathed. From the Christmas lunch, that magical time of year when your waistband tightens and your inner food enthusiast high-fives your inner glutton, to the family dynamics and deep-seed emotional scars that rear their head! We have you covered with a strategy that involves wit, alcohol, and a pair of stretchy pants.