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The C Word - Part 2
Part 4 - the final chapter I hope
This time last week, I was thinking "Shit how am I going to get through two weeks of schools holidays with the annoying fuckers I call my family."
Is been four weeks since I started this C journey. I’m in a dilemma, I want this blog to be light hearted but at the same time I do not want to trivialise the cancer treatment journey because it does suck balls. Can we just assume that I have days which are a bit crappy. There are plenty of other writers though that can describe that shit in better detail than me.
I had my second round of chemo last Thursday. Chemo was ok, in a strange way it was kind of relaxing, sitting in a very comfy reclining chair with a cup of tea having drugs put in.
It was around lunch time and I was feeling quite peckish, I had been there a couple of hours and everything was fine. I could see the lady with the sandwich trolley making her way over to me (They feed you but your partner doesn't get anything). I get the nice comfy reclining chair and tea and sandwiches, he gets the hard crappy chair and mostly ignored.
#BudgetBen decides to go down to the cafe to get a bite to eat. He was tempted with the meat pie (because it was cheap) but ended up going semi-healthy and chose the tandoori wrap.
I was soo happy when the lady arrived with a plate of perfectly formed, cute white bread, no crust, triangle sandwiches and a bowl of hearty beef and vegetable soup. Tasty fillings as well - there was chicken and avo, egg and cress, ham and cheese and the smell of the soup was divine. Could my day get any better?
Then the "fuckening" happened.
You know, when your day is going so well that you don't trust it and then something happens... ah ha... there it is, "the Fuckening".
So the first thing you can do when you have cancer is play “the Cancer Card”. My friends will already tell you they are fucking sick of me playing this card ... it’s only been four weeks!
The next thing you can do is leave all concern for your appearance, trust me, the sooner you get used to looking like crap the easier it is for you.
Luckily, I have always been comfortable looking like shit. At first I thought I would have some fun with my hair. I asked my hairdresser "ANTON" to cut it short and dye it blonde then pink. His response was "that will look fucking awful!" My response was "FFS it's all going to fall out anyway, I may as well have some fun!"
This is us having some fun...
Next thing you can do is go and visit all the places you used to work and get lots of hugs and sympathy.
I have been really fortunate to work with some really great people. I went and saw my gorgeous HX team at ZIP Money and had some wine and doughnuts.
I also went and saw Naomi Simson to try and score myself a sympathy Red Balloon experience..lol
Another thing you can do is make your own memes up about cancer and send it to your friends. At first they don’t know what the fuck to say, some even start by saying “Lori I hope all is ok", but once they get used to it, they begin to laugh with you again.
In fact, I do think it is important to recognise the role that your family and friends play. I have an inappropriate sense of humour, they know I do, but it is still hard for them sometimes to laugh with you. I know sometimes they think I use my humour as a shield to protect my insecurities and they are probably right, that said laughter really is the best medicine (well apart from chemo in my case - that is pretty useful too).
I know I'm lucky - I'm only stage 3 and there are many of us out there fighting a bigger battle. In fact, I have been completely blown away by just how many people are touched by this disease.
It is the first time I have been vulnerable and it has been a huge lesson for me. When you allow yourself to be open, honest and scared - the strength of a village comes to help you. My friends suggested the Go fund me page and I still cannot believe the generosity from people who I don't even know that want to help me and Ben out.
This journey is an ongoing one for the time being. Writing this blog and creating inappropriate cancer products has been very cathartic for me. I am looking at joining the awesome team at LoveYour Sister to donate 10% of profits from our cancer range.
Our collection of Cancer related inappropriate gifts (Click Here).
I read each and every comment and email that gets sent and I thank you all for your support.
Love Lori XX
Until my next chemo sesh by then my minge hair and upper lip hair may even have gone (the chemo drugs will need to be bloody toxic for that to happen).
Life is short, have fun and remember...
"don't be afraid to be a pigeon in a flock of flamingos....."
February 11, 2020
After losing my hubby in 2017 after a sudden and severe stomach C diagnosis at the age of 55,(9 month diagnosis inoperable) I myself was diagnosed with breast cancer in feb 2019. Double whammy / had surgery , 4 rounds of chemo , and hair is just growing back. Hang in there , be strong . Thoughts with you all the way And all you other brave women who have also been down this lumpy bumpy road ❤️
November 05, 2019
I love that you play the cancer card. You have to get something out of it 😂. Keep up the blogs and I hope you do, do something with LYS. Xx
October 23, 2019
Girl, we are kicking this bitch together..i am on round 8 of 16 chemo. Its a motherfucker and i flush more than a nun in a brothel. You got this girl. Keep laughing booby sister xx
August 29, 2019
On my 13 radiation treatment for bc and my tit is bright red and I can’t stand anything near my nipple. Only 7 more till I’m done… Loved reading your post. Thank you for the giggles.
August 27, 2019
You make me laugh….although I did have to google “minge hair” to find out what it meant.
August 24, 2019
Fantastic take on the C journey. I’ve been on & off this bus for 8 years this month & find humour is my best coping mechanism but I’d be shit are articulating it!
Can’t wait to read more 👍🏻
August 22, 2019
Feeling exactly the same. And writing a blog helps. I have one called ‘Positive or Pointless ‘ on Facebook. First world problem – when your hair finally grows back and decides to grow straight up! Fml.
Feel free to read my Facebook page. It’s open to the public.
Emma
August 22, 2019
Also on C journey had my 2 round of chemo yesterday still going well. Just waiting for when the hair falls out but still in there pretty tight, do the tug test every morning. Sending good vibes to as you continue your C journey. This is 2nd diagnosis’s of breast cancer. 💜
August 22, 2019
Your attitude is inspiring as well as hilarious.
But also know that when you have a shit day, you have 4x people here that are sending you a cuddle.
August 22, 2019
You make me laugh out loud every day on FB/Instagram, and just looking at the website. May the universe return the favour. Sending you all my good vibes.
August 22, 2019
Hi Lori, I’m on the C journey too, had my 3rd round of chemo yesterday, been coping ok but this last one has made me pretty nauseous but no bad reactions so far. Good to read about someone who also has a sense of humour, best way to fight it but like you I have bad days too, I’m not letting this shit beat me though. I have stage 4 cervical cancer which has spread to my bowel, bladder, spine, lung and lymph nodes, oncologist has given me 12 months with chemo but stuff that, I’m here for the next 12 years or more😁Good luck on your journey, I look forward to reading more of your blogs
August 22, 2019
You are one inspiring woman showing the rest of us how to do it and I personally love you for that. You own it and you are truly helping me with all your real info and the language it deserves, lol. Thanks babe for keeping it real. SML (so-much-love) I made that up but I’m sure it’s going to take off.
August 22, 2019
Great blog. I’m the same playing the cancer card is great and lightens the mood as well with friends and family. Breast cancer and chemo sux enough that you have to find the humour in it for your own sanity. I just had your cancer can fuck off cup arrive in NZ. Its now my favourite cup. Stand strong Kia Kaha.
From NZ
August 22, 2019
You are a deadset fucking LEGEND.
I had The Fuckening on Sunday. Someone called me a fat, lazy cunt. Excuse me but FUCKING WHAT?? I AM NOT LAZY.
August 22, 2019
Glad you’re still keeping your sense of humour.
! It’s what keeps us going. Play the cancer card? Play the entire fucking deck!
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No time to refinance your mortgage this festive season? We've got you covered with our ultimate inappropriate gift guide! With prices skyrocketing, Secret Santa budgets have grown—because $10 won’t even buy a loaf of bread, let alone a fun Kris Kringle gift. Check out our favourite ideas for a little extra splurge this year!
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If you're scratching your head trying to keep up with all the Secret Santa variations flying around, don't worry—you’re not alone. Honestly, we’re just as bamboozled! Our customers have shared a smorgasbord of ways they swap gifts at Christmas parties, and we thought, why keep all the fun to ourselves?
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Sue aka Dory
February 22, 2020
😃 I enjoy reading as I too have a great shaped head for no hair haha and I agree would love for the unwanted hairs to fall out . And my kids love calling me Dory 😆