WTF Wednesday #35

ONLY IN HELENSVALE...you’re not going to believe what just happened, we pulled up to get some fuel, and we noticed these two police officers watching a woman who was smoking while pumping petrol. I thought, "This lady isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, and with the cops right there too.”

 

Anyway, I went inside, paid for the fuel and as I was about to head back out, I heard someone screaming. I looked out the window and the woman's arm was on fire! She was swinging her arm & running around and totally freaking out!

 

I then witnessed the cops putting her on the ground & putting the fire out with their coffees!! What a waste of good coffees...I'm thinking, really? Can this get any weirder?"

 

Then they handcuff her & threw her in the police car. I'm still thinking "Well that chick wasn’t too smart, what kind of a person smokes near a petrol pump?

 

One of the cops started singing the song "This girl is on fire.” It was honestly pretty funny!

So being the curious person I am, I asked the officers what they were arresting her for... One of the officers looked me square in the eyes & said "are you serious? she was

WAVING A FIREARM!"

 

Anyone else annoyed with Coles? (Australian supermarket equivalent to Tescos or Wegmans).

My kids are obsessed with these stupid things - STIKEEZ.   They are free... what a crock of sh*t that is! You have to spend $30 just to get one and Janet at the checkout covets those packets as if each one is worth a million dollars.

"Can I have two please Janet as I have 2 kids and they will fight over them?"

"No sorry the computer says no.. you only spent $59.60"

I pick up a creme egg from the side display and lob it at Janet's head  - "NOW can I get two packets PLEASE JANET???"

 

Let's have some fun shopping in Coles, BIG W and Bunnings. 

Funny pranks. (Do at your own risk)

• Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples trolleys when they aren't looking.
• Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
• Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
• While a sales person is trying to tell a customer about a high priced item. Look interested in the same item.. and say you can get it cheaper online!
• Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares......and see what happens.
• Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
• Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
• When a Sales Assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
• Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
• Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
• Ask a sales assistant for entry into the fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"
•  Pay off lay-bys fifty cents at a times
• Use our inappropriate reusable bags when shopping (we only have a few left in stock but more are coming in next week)

Each week we will bring you our recommendations of what may make you smile.

You all know I am in love with Ricky Gervais -  I binged watched his new sitcom  AFTERLIFE on NETFLIX. It made me laugh and cry. See trailer here

Best gift I've ever had is a chocolate penis doughnut - it was much tastier than a real one and a lot less salty.  Our friends at Dessert Boxes (because they know just how inappropriate we all are) are giving us a discount off any purchases until Monday.  Just use EATADICK code at checkout for 15% off until Sunday 17th March.