March 13, 2019 3 min read

We had two mugs that made it into our Mug of the week.  The above one - we designed to celebrate International Womans Day 2019. 

Thank you soo much for all your suggestions for names.   Mels won this week ...   there are quite a few of them and they are all awesome! 

We are still working on an inappropriate range for EA's/ PA's and mums for Mothers day,  we love hearing your suggestions for slogans, they keep Sophie, Ben and I laughing all day!  

We are changing the name of our Danny P - Mardi Gras Collection to LOUD AND PROUD - all our mugs for that collection are now in stock.

Thanks to all of you VIP customers who took the time to give us some really valuable feedback to our recent survey.

Joke Du Jour

Today's joke is actually a real story from a mums facebook page.

ONLY IN HELENSVALE...you’re not going to believe what just happened, we pulled up to get some fuel, and we noticed these two police officers watching a woman who was smoking while pumping petrol. I thought, "This lady isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, and with the cops right there too.”
 
Anyway, I went inside, paid for the fuel and as I was about to head back out, I heard someone screaming. I looked out the window and the woman's arm was on fire! She was swinging her arm & running around and totally freaking out!
 
I then witnessed the cops putting her on the ground & putting the fire out with their coffees!! What a waste of good coffees...I'm thinking, really? Can this get any weirder?"
 
Then they handcuff her & threw her in the police car. I'm still thinking "Well that chick wasn’t too smart, what kind of a person smokes near a petrol pump?
 
One of the cops started singing the song "This girl is on fire.” It was honestly pretty funny!
So being the curious person I am, I asked the officers what they were arresting her for... One of the officers looked me square in the eyes & said "are you serious? she was
WAVING A FIREARM!"
What's New Pussycat

 

Anyone else annoyed with Coles? (Australian supermarket equivalent to Tescos or Wegmans).

My kids are obsessed with these stupid things - STIKEEZ.   They are free... what a crock of sh*t that is! You have to spend $30 just to get one and Janet at the checkout covets those packets as if each one is worth a million dollars.

"Can I have two please Janet as I have 2 kids and they will fight over them?"

"No sorry the computer says no.. you only spent $59.60"

I pick up a creme egg from the side display and lob it at Janet's head  - "NOW can I get two packets PLEASE JANET???"

 

Coles Stikeez

100% Recycled Fucks

Let's have some fun shopping in Coles, BIG W and Bunnings. 

Funny pranks. (Do at your own risk)

  • Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples trolleys when they aren't looking.
  • Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
  • Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
  • While a sales person is trying to tell a customer about a high priced item. Look interested in the same item.. and say you can get it cheaper online!
  • Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares......and see what happens.
  • Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
  • Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
  • When a Sales Assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
  • Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
  • Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
  • Ask a sales assistant for entry into the fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"
  •  Pay off lay-bys fifty cents at a times
  • Use our inappropriate reusable bags when shopping (we only have a few left in stock but more are coming in next week)

What will make you smile

Each week we will bring you our recommendations of what may make you smile.

You all know I am in love with Ricky Gervais -  I binged watched his new sitcom  AFTERLIFE on NETFLIX. It made me laugh and cry. See trailer here

Best gift I've ever had is a chocolate penis doughnut - it was much tastier than a real one and a lot less salty.  Our friends at Dessert Boxes (because they know just how inappropriate we all are) are giving us a discount off any purchases until Monday.  Just use EATADICK code at checkout for 15% off until Sunday 17th March.

Eat A Dick


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