Your Cart is Empty
Cats and cucumbers
I love Facebook memories.. this came up in my feed from 3 years ago..
Ok ...this was my evening.... Tonight on the way home my 10 year old daughter was talking about funny cat videos on you tube.. especially the ones with cucumbers 🥒 apparently cats go psycho if you put a cucumber by them.
Maya was explaining it was a natural cat instinct being scared as they think it is a snake .. ANYWAY I said ”Why don’t we try it when we get home with our cats (Eddie and Milo who are 14)  Hubby says... “but we don’t have any cucumbers 🥒 “ Â
No problem I replied, "let’s stop in at the shop on way home and I’ll get one"  Well as you can imagine a few jokes pass between me and hubby about going into the shop for just one cucumber for my pussy... Â
As we parked the kids said can you get a treat for us while you are in there. Â
I forgot to ask Maya whether it was best with a Lebanese cucumber or long continental one so I bought both... Â being the nice mum I am I also bought some caramel popcorn for the kids.Â
As proudly inappropriate as I am I couldn’t bring myself to go the the lady on the checkout with two cucumbers and two bags of popcorn at 8 pm on a Saturday night!
I check out using self serve and didn’t bother with a bag. ( should have done! ). Â
I run out of Coles and to the car I fell arse over tit on a mini speed bump... land with a bang and my cucumbers and popcorn go flying!!Â
To my horror A CROWD GATHERS... “OMG are you ok?” An old lady picks up my shopping for me .. TWO CUCUMBERS AND TWO BAGS OF POPCORN! Â
Another lady says .. "ohh you’re going to be sore in the morning" (I hope she was referring to my knee and not that fact I had bought two cucumbers.. )Â
Another bloke says ... “Blimy you went flying as did your cucumbers”.
I tried to save my embarrassment by explaining I was buying the cucumbers for a test with my cats ... but that just made me sound like a crazy cat woman in need of cock!Â
Meanwhile Ben is in the car with the kids laughing hysterically.  That’s the last time I friggen go in to Coles to buy cucumbers by myself!! Â
And the moral of the story??? The cats didn’t give a fuck .... not a single fuck! 
Leave a comment
Comments will be approved before showing up.
Also in Making Life Fun Again
What dad really wants for Fathers day.
dads are simple creatures, we don’t wish for fresh underpants and socks with pictures on them, we just want to be woken up with a blow job and to have a day where we strut around the house drinking beer and not having to clean anything
If a gift is on your mind then get us something we can use...like a fleshlight or a chainsaw....or an eagle or a chainsaw wielding eagle with a fleshlight attachment.
Failing that you may want to get us a gift from the Inappropriate Gift Co.Â
Fathers gifts need to be fun gifts because we out up with your shit all year!Â
September Birthday Gift Ideas
Shopping for a gift for a September birthday can be challenging; you might be dealing with a flight risk who may not even be in the country next month. September birthday people tend to be divided into two main types: a Virgo, best known for being anally organised, loyal to a fault, and extremely rational, or a Libra, known for being the life of the party, relatively balanced, and having a strong sense of fairness. Here are our top gift ideas for September Birthdays.
Read More
Last Minute Fathers Day Gift Ideas
For fucks sake! It surely can't be Father's Day in a month!!! We are coining August the month of socks, jocks, and moustaches. The final month of the year we can walk through the aisles of the department stores without hearing Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas". Don't be basic this year, show your dad (or baby daddy) that you know how to have a good time with a hilarious Father's Day gift from The Inappropriate Gift Co.
Read More