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Why Pets Make the Best Valentines

3 min read

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Why Pets Make the Best Valentines

It’s that time of year again, when awkward teens nervously deliver single roses to their current crush in the hopes that they may become boyfriend and girlfriend by the days end, oh and when adults trying to get laid get completely ripped off in fine dining restaurants with less than average set menus and nowhere near enough wine included.  

For many, even those already skipping down lover's lane, a night on the couch with a fur baby is without a doubt the ultimate valentine's day date! Peanut butter jokes aside, here are our top 10 reasons Valentine's Day is best spent with your pet... 

  1. It is a fictitious rip-off ‘holiday,’ that is more painful to endure that a Brazilian wax! As is the bill and shitty customer service if you head out for a meal with the love of your life! Best we all just stay home and snuggle with our pets.  

  2. Your pets wish list of the perfect evening would not be that far removed from your own, a sunset stroll along a beach, a delicious steak meal followed by a movie on the couch, my dog is my spirit animal, just add some booze!  

  3. If you do decide to forgo the shitty set menu at the local Italian and cook up a feast at home, it's unlikely your dog will complain if you over cook the steak or under salt the vegetables, likely your date will and definitely your cat, savages.  

  4. More great news on the pet date front, they have zero interest in hogging the remote! Hello latest season of MAFS! 

  5. Dogs can absolutely not eat chocolate! We all know this stuff is our little fury friend's kryptonite! With that said, another massive perk of spending the big V with your dog, you don’t need to share the chocolate!  

  6. Not only save money, save yourself some time! No expensive trip to the florist for the men and ladies, no need to spend hours doing hair and make-up. The dog won’t even care what you smell like, unless it’s dog treats, then he’ll be delighted!  

  7. If your dog tries to up and leave you, someone will always find them and bring them back, especially if he is wearing one of our adorable pet tags like the,I'm an arsehole and ran away. The same can’t be said for your date! 

  8. For many, Valentine’s Day will be spent completing dull tasks for less than favorable people! Yes, most will be working on this auspicious day! And what better way to end said day than coming home to someone who literally jumps for joy when they see you! Unlikely your better half will have the same level of excitement to see you as your faithful pooch!  

  9. It is highly unlikely that you’ll find your dog texting with other humans, making inappropriate suggestions about going walkies or even sending paw pics! The same can’t be said about partners sadly.  

  10. Finally, pets are without a doubt the most kind, forgiving and nurturing companion anyone could ask for. From a Goldfish to a cow (evenCunty McCunt Face), a pet will always beat out any other date option, well except maybe Jason Momoa.  

However you choose to spend February 14th, we hope you enjoy it, eating in, eating out or eating someone out, whatever makes life fun for you! 

1 Response

Kathy
Kathy

February 01, 2023

Truer words were never spoken…or barked…or hissed.

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