How to Cure the Winter Blues in the most Inappropriate ways!

July is the waste land of the year, a mid-point sprinkled with bitterly cold winds, less than average snow around select mountain peaks and no real reason to dress up and head out, because baby it's cold outside, and not in the romantic Michael Bublé Christmas song way...just bitterly fucking cold!
  
As Queensland drops below 20 and we pull out the winter woolies, here are our top picks to melt away the winter blues and find more purpose to July than a shitty tax return.

 1. Christmas in July, so predictable we know, but why mess with a classic. An event paired perfectly with mulled wine, (heavily) spiked eggnog, and inappropriate secret Santa gifts. Read our full blog post on Christmas in July here. 

2. Hit the slopes, and by this we mean find a chalet or log cabin somewhere cold, start a fire (ideally in a prescribed fireplace) and crack a bottle of something warming. 
   
   
   
   
3. Laze all day! Crank the heating and hit that binging hard! Be sure to stockpile snacks, this wonderfully inspired activity can be made even cozier with our Best friend Sherpa blanket, best shared with your favourite inappropriate person, because a boring person won’t get it, and why would you want to hang out all day with a boring person anyway! 
   
   
   
4. There are a few silver linings to this time of year, we can all indulge in a slower pace, the sun no longer wakes us at the arse crack of dawn and social commitments begin to dwindle (thank fuck!). It is also the best time of year to break out the board games! Invite your least cunty friends over, team up and roll out the inappropriate board games! Might we recommend Who’s the Cunt or F#ckedup-opoly to get the party started…and alcohol, that will also help.
   
    
   
   
5. A puzzle is a perfect indoor, cold weather sport! Yep – you read that right, puzzling is actually classified as a sport, take a second glance in the mirror at that fine athletic physique, actually guys, it’s a mind sport, but we do need to keep those little babies in shape too! 
   
   
   
   
6. Get baking bitches! Because we know you love to, we see what you buy! Be sure to #makelifefunagain on your inappropriate creations. But please don’t hashtag if it’s boring cupcakes you made with your 5-year-old, unless there was an inappropriate error, like a set of boobs or cute dog bone turned penis situation or alike.  
   
   
   
   
7. A BATH!!! Yep, a little serve of human soup on a cold winter’s day, how divine, pair this lovely activity with a really attractive man, or your idiot husband (according to our statistics 48% of you have them!),add some Gin and Tonic bath bombs and a very strong Gin and Tonic! 
   
   

That’s our top picks, and just for some final laughs, because it's too farking cold to move, enjoy some winter fails courtesy of the @FailArmy that will have you keen to stay indoors!