Our Favourite Swear Words

Our Favourite Swear Words

Recently in a Facebook post we asked you for your favourite swear words.   The post attracted nearly 2,000 comments and as usual you didn't disappoint, many of you said there were just so many fun swear words you couldn't pick a favourite. 

This blog was originally published 2 years ago when we only had 30 swear words- we have now upped our favourite swear words to 54, we hope yours is on the list, if it isn't please let us know in comments. 

swear words the inappropriate gift co

I can't wait to share some of your favourite weird ones but to summarise it probably won't surprise you to see the top 3:

  1. Fuck
  2. Cunt
  3. Shit 

1) Fuck has to be the best and most versatile swear word in existence. 

flexibility of the swear word fuck

2) Cunt is becoming a lot more acceptable to use now as a curse word.   In my mum's generation, it was considered the most vulgar of swear words.  I used to feel the same but somehow over the past 8 years it has become much more liberating to use as sometimes the word fuck just doesn't cut it.  I think this quote from Abz sums it up 

"Cunt is my most loved swear word because of how offended some people are by it. All the others just don't have the same level of impact."

Cunt has been in the English language for centuries, there is a street in Oxford that is now called Magpie Lane, but it used to be called Gropecunt Lane, a name that reflected the fact that sex workers had congregated there centuries earlier. This place name is the earliest recorded use of the word “cunt” in English, going back to at least 1230 A.D.

Cunt is still a no go word for a lot of people though.  

I upset one customer because she ordered a bib that said “That’s not a plane that’s a spoon dickhead” to be sent to her son on the birth of her new and first grandson. I accidentally  sent them the messy little cunt one (due to a mix up at the warehouse). The daughter in law opened it in front of her own mum and neither of them were impressed with the other Grandma’s purchase! I Oops.

3) Shit 

I use the word shit so often that sometimes I forget it is a swear word? Is it?  According to my kids (aged 13 and 14) it is a swear word!  "MUM ... you used the "s"word".   Bless them....  I use the word shit ALL THE TIME.

Now on to the more interesting swear words.  Here is a list of your favourites.

  • Fuckenuselessknobjockey
  • Cuntytbollocks
  • Motherfucker
  • Shitforbrains
  • Dickwad
  • Jesus titty-fucking Christ
  • Arse biscuits
  • Cuntstruck
  • Fuckwit
  • Cockwomble
  • Knob Jockey
  • Bell End
  • Wanksta
  • Twatwaffle
  • Cunt muffin
  • Knob gobbler
  • Cluster fuck 
  • Thundercunt
  • Twunt 
  • Jesus Mary and Joseph and the Wee Donkey (reference to In The Line Of Fire drama series) 
  • Bollocks
  • Shitcunt
  • Asshat
  • Fuckface
  • Fuck Knuckle 
  • Cunt Goblin
  • Cockhead 
  • Cunting Bastard
  • Arsewipe
  • Cuntasaurus 
  • Twatapotomus
  • Cunty Fuck Nugget
  • Cunt Face
  • Cock Head 
  • Twat Dick Knob
  • Douche Dumpster 
  • Bloody Bastard Arsehole
  • Hoof Wanking Thunder Cunt
  • Dick Splash 
  • Cuntisicle, Cunt Cake, Cunt Sponge 
  • Shitballs
  • The Fuckening 
  • Wank stain
  • Fuck nugget 
  • Arseclown
  • Fuck chop 
  • Fucking mole
  • Twat McFuckknucle
  • Karen 
  • Douche Canoe 
  • Cumguzzlingfuckmonkey

This has to be one of the funniest blogs to write, I love my job!.  Thank you to all of you who contributed. 

One phrase that hasn't been mentioned but has to be my number 1 saying of all time is 


If you do like swear words and want to check out our top selling sweary gifts click here: 


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9 Responses


April 07, 2023

Heard the word wankspangle recently and loved it..


April 06, 2023

Missed one that is offensive to almost everyone, and used ALL THE TIME… Cocksucker!


April 05, 2023

Clunge is trending in our house!


April 05, 2023

Fuck me swinging

Cunty head


April 05, 2023

All the varying versions of fuck is made go to. One word that wasn’t in the list that is a fave of a good friend is slunt 😀


October 14, 2021

Here in Glasgow, Scotland, “cunt” is a term of endearment, as in:
How ya doin’ cunt? 🥰

jerry brentnell
jerry brentnell

July 01, 2021

well Iwill be a holy roller dipshit you have the motherfuckin cunt down to a tee you keep up the good work I love every thing you post here much love and lust from atlantic canada eh where the men are men and the sheep are nervois


June 18, 2021


Natalie Ritchie
Natalie Ritchie

June 16, 2021

Fuck me dead
Jism jaw
Get me coffee cunt lips

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