The Inappropriate Gift Co's Guide to Surviving a Family Christmas

Ah, Christmas lunch, that magical time of year when your waistband tightens and your inner food enthusiast high-fives your inner glutton. Surviving the feast...and the family requires strategy, wit, alcohol, and perhaps a pair of stretchy pants. Here's our hilarious guide to making it through the yuletide culinary chaos unscathed.

1. The Appetizer Avalanche:

Christmas lunch starts innocently enough with a barrage of appetizers. Mini quiches, pigs in a blanket, and cheese platters threaten to derail your self-control. To survive, adopt the "one of each" policy. This also goes for shots and cocktails. If you are already feeling bombarded with questions or unwelcomed opinions take a walk outside or change the topic. Christmas tree ornaments can be a great conversation starter! 

2. The Main Affair:

This is usually where the fun begins! At this point, you're likely a few bottles in (usually as a group, but totally fine if you've managed to get to this point on your own). The laughs are getting louder, the remarks from the mother-in-law snarkier and a range of deep-rooted emotions are bubbling to the surface. We recommend you stamp out issues early on by using place cards to allocate seating, ensuring any guests who will likely get into it, are seated far enough apart. These little Booze bottles double as the perfect place card for the Christmas table! Simply slide a piece of card with the guest's name on top. Don't forget to add a shot of something delicious! You're welcome!

3. The Side Dish Shuffle:

The side dishes are the unsung heroes of Christmas lunch, often stealing the show. Mashed potatoes, roast veggies, salads, mint, and cranberry sauces – they're all vying for a spot on your plate. When in doubt, use our Portion Control plates to help ensure you don't overdo it! Better yet, one for every guest as a take-home gift! 

4. Dessert Dodgeball:

As if Christmas lunch hasn't tested your limits, the dessert round enters the ring, and everyone is feeling exceptionally 'Merry". Fruit mince Pies, Pavlova, cakes, and cookies surround you like a sugary minefield. Approach this phase with caution, a game plan, and even an Irish coffee. Strategically position yourself near your favorite treat, and when the dessert bell tolls, strike with precision, you can't get into arguments or make offensive comments back to your mother-in-law with a mouth full of rum balls, trust us, we've tried and it's very messy.

5. Uncle Jerry's Stories:

Surviving Christmas lunch isn't just about the food; it's about navigating the social terrain. There's likely the uncle who's a close talker, Pop with really, really long tales of yesteryear, not to be overshadowed by the aunt who drinks too much, the twenty-somethings looking to get stoned, and of course, the MIL! The mother-in-law...slow clap in your head as she walks in throwing insults on the table setting to the spread of food. What can be done? Pour another glass of wine and sit down with a plate of prawns or something else delicious. It's your day too, everyone knows how the fridge works, they can get it themselves.

Don't forget to celebrate the crazy family!

Maybe it is time to play a game to get everyone in team mode?  Cock cards anyone?

Cock Dominoes anyone? 

6. The Post-Lunch Nap Nod:

By the time the last dish is cleared, you should be in full food coma mode and slightly tipsy (or blind drunk, Santa won't be watching today, he's sleeping). Strategically position yourself on the comfiest couch, away from anyone who isn't interested in rubbing your tired feet, avoid eye contact with anyone suggesting a game of charades, and succumb to the post-lunch nap nod. Embrace the snoring symphony – it's the sweet lullaby of survival.

Conquering Christmas lunch is an art form. Approach it with humour, a game plan, and possibly a portable fan. May your Christmas lunch be filled with laughter, love, and just the right amount of food-induced stupor. Happy feasting!

Have fun buying inappropriate gifts this Christmas! 

Good Luck with the Crazy Family this Christmas... May the odds be forever in your favour.