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Rude Christmas Food & Inappropriate Nibbles.

2 min read

Rude Christmas Food & Inappropriate Nibbles.

Having a fun themed menu is the classic cornerstone of any party.  Have fun creating a Christmas menu with these inappropriate menu ideas...

Let's start with dessert first...  you'll need a Christmas themed cake, 

Naked santa cake inappropriate food rude cakes and christmas in july

(image source Kennedy News & Media) 

Or maybe if the above is a bit much for you.. you could have this cute snowman instead. 

inappropriate snowman cake

(photo from

Maybe bake yourself a penis cake or biscuits? 

pensi cakes the inappropriate gift co

(if you would like to see some other dick like cakes - check out our very imformative BLOG - OUR TOP 10 FAVOURITE PENIS CAKES 

Now let's get to the main course..

Most people call these pigs in blanket... but we like to call them willies in foreskin. 

cocks in blankets


 Apparently this next dish is very tasty.... it is stuffed chicken fillet with white sauce...  (looks like something else to us - we will leave it to your imagination) 

 rude food

rude christmas food

You may want to serve it with fries instead of roast potatoes.. (check out crimpy style fries) 

mega pussy crimpy fries rude and inappropriate christmas food

If you are having the traditional turkey don't forget to let it chill in the sink for a few hours...

turkey chill in sink

You may want to serve it with vegetables such as carrots, eggplant (aubergine) and capsicum (Peppers)

rude and inappropriate food carrot

rude and inappropriate food eggplant

rude and inappropriate food capsicum

Don't forget to smother these nice vegetables in a lovely gravy, make sure you use a nice gravy boat to pour it from.

dick gravy boat


You don't need to have meat on the Christmas lunch table, for the vegetarians, you can have a nice bowl of penis pasta...substitute the mince with a plant based protein. 


penis pasta rude food

Or if you are on a diet or needing to prep for a colonoscopy, you could always just substitute the main meal and go with a clear broth soup such as

cock flavoured spicy soup

Now let's end with the starters or as we like to say the "naughty nibbles"

You'll need a rude charcuterie board

rude charcuterie board

Don't forget the baby cheeses... 

baby cheeses

or maybe you should make baby Jesus...

baby cheeses rude food inappropriate

And it wouldn't be Xmas without seafood..... apparently these penis fish are a delicacy in Korea..

penis fish rude inappropriate food   

here is a pic we found of a beaver eating a penis.... fish.... (you don't see that every day!) 

beaver eating penis fish rude food inappropriate gifts

We are not sure about the penis fish we will stick to our normal crab, prawns, lobster & crayfish.   If you are on a budget though you may want to recreate this dish.. 

seafood meal on a budget rude food inappropriate gifts

We hope you liked our rude food edition... enjoy Christmas in July! 

santa lobster rude food christmas menu


 If you need some fun gifts for your Christmas in July party - check out our hilarious range here.

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