Top 10 Reasons to Give Camping the Middle Finger in 2023!
5 min read
Looking for an intense experience this Easter long weekend, or an in tents experience? Either way, you’ll find what you’re looking for if you opt to give up a plush mattress, weather resistant shelter and basic first world cooking and hygiene facilities in lieu of the ragged great outdoors!
For whatever reason, unbeknownst to us at The Inappropriate Gift Co, a whole bunch of people take to the campgrounds over the Easter long weekend, even though it rains 110% of time! With this said, we have all had a crack at this camping thing, and no doubt will go back for more...but as a timely reminder with Easter just around the corner, here are our top 10 reasons to give camping the middle finger in 2023!
1. Picking a Campsite
If you did not book this time last year, good luck finding a campsite. With all those impulse campervan purchases during Covid, securing yourself a place at a coastal camping ground can prove challenging! If you have left it too late, there’s always the good old camping in your backyard with the great benefit of hot water and a flushing toilet!
2. Packing for the trip.
It might just be the long weekend, but perhaps in a futile attempt to be comfortable, we pack as if we are travelling the globe for 12 months and need outfits for all weather and occasions! Not to mention enough undies as if we were to shit ourselves daily! Then there’s the bedding, cooking utensils, food, activities like bikes, scooters and games and the trailer of alcohol it will take to keep me happy whilst living in a structure that could blow away whilst I sleep.
3. Getting out of the door.
So, as you’ve read, we’ve just pack as if we are awaiting a removalist truck, however somehow, we need to squeeze all this shit into the back of the car...with the kids and the dog! This mammoth task takes some quality tretris skills and time of course, so the plan to be on the road early to beat the traffic goes completely out the window, as does the patience with the husband, kids, dog, and anything else standing in the way of this ‘epic’ adventure that awaits! Aka, getting all the fucking hard work done so one can calorie load and drink by an open fire!
4. Arrival, emptying the car, setting up and all that shit.
The initial excitement driving into the campsite is quickly eliminated when you realise just how much shit there is to unpack and set up. Although the excitement of the first night does often ease the pain, we recommend a bottle of Prosecco on hand!
5. The flies.
Fucking flies, mosquitoes and bugs. No sooner have you poured a Prosecco, than a fucking fly moves in to drown in it, (Don't blame the fly, I would contemplate death too if I had to live permanently in the great outdoors). No doubt, as soon as you refresh your fly soup Prosecco, the kids will start moaning about mozzie bites! And although, no doubt you’ve likely packed a first aid kit that Medicins Sans Frontiers would be impressed with, the damage is done, the kids are over it and the flies seem to have developed some sort of immunity to Aeroguard! 6. Sugar high - what goes up must come down.
The kids, through no fault of their own, are riding a sugar wave of 5 million Easter eggs within the first 24 hours. I say not their fault, as my default setting when on holidays is “sure, why not, we’re on holidays,” completely forgetting I can’t rely on Wi-Fi to keep them entertained. Everything is "BORING" because there is no Netflix or YouTube and I totally have to agree with them.
7. Day Drinking.
The only way to survive is to drink your way through the day and evening. Fun at the time, but not so fun when your bladder is bursting at 2am and you just cannot bring yourself to get out of the warm sleeping bag and trek half a kilometre, past everyone else, into the dark to the spider infested shower block.
8. Mud, dirt and damp
Even though you packed for every single eventuality, someone always runs out of clean shorts, underwear, or warm clothes. There is dirty washing literally everywhere and even if you do wash it, getting it dry is impossible, and when I say dirty laundry, I mean mud clad jeans and tomato sauce-stained jumpers, not your run of the mill 20-minute express washing cycle! This shit will take days to sort out!
9. Other people
FFS, do you really need to walk across my campsite to get to yours? Could you perhaps not spend the extra millisecond and keep to the pathways between our domains? Also just an FYI, tents are pretty thin, so if you’re going to get ‘busy’ in your neighbouring tent, try keep that big ‘O’ on mute and if you're at the opposite end of the spectrum and yelling profanities at each other, we can hear all that shit too!
10. The serenity.
Ahh the serenity, couples arguing, kids bickering, Sue's portable speakers and her taste in soft rock. Bacon burning, toddlers screaming, car fumes, diesel generators, cold spidery shower blocks, dampness everywhere, greasy dishes, flies, expensive pub meals, mossie sprays, mud, did I mention the damp?
Look, we’re all about making life fun, so if the above is your idea of a good time, by all means get over stuffing your car with life's essentials, but you have been warned! If you do take to the open air, remember to laugh at the inconveniences, pack more underwear than you even anticipate you’ll need and know where the closest hotel is to your campsite, we won’t judge if you need to bail out to the local three-star Comfort Inn!
At the end of the day - anytime spent with loved ones is worth it, it is often these most intense trips that we remember and bring a smile to our faces as we look back on them! Take lots of alcohol, go with the flow and if you do have wifi, have a laugh at our socials over Easter!
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